Whilst I was in the process of writing the second draft of my step outline I received feedback from our seminar leader Faisal Qureshi who raised a few questions concerning the nature of my script. Some of the issues he raised included whether my characters were protesters or troops, where they were based and how close to the war zone they were, how have they been continue operating for so long, and how can a radio based in the far East be powerful enough to reach the US.
In response to Faisal’s feedback I edited my story slightly to fix the lack of historical development which was perhaps unclear in my original step outline. A major change I made was the ending where instead us seeing American families listening to the broadcast, the film ends just on the record reels spinning, implying that it was recording the whole time but without showing who is listening – this can be left to the audience’s imagination. In relation to the question of how they have been continuing to operate for so long, I plan in including a piece of dialogue by Ho Dinh who asks why the south have kept them save for so long – relaying to the audience that the bunker is in the south (in a brothel just like Radio First Termer).
Aside from the feedback Faisal gave in relation to my story, he also helped with the dialogue of the Vietnamese men. Originally I had worried about writing the Vietnamese dialogue as it wouldn’t have been natural and could come across as slightly racist; however Faisal told me to write their dialogue just as any other character as most audiences cannot tell the difference.
We also analyzed the short film Wasp (2003) (above) which is about a single mother who has to look after her kids as well as enjoy her social life. The main thing I learned from Wasp (2003) was how the plot mainly developed through a question an answer format – the protagonist would be presented with a situation and they would have find a solution to it – this repeated over and over until it came to the climax. Although this narrative structure is quite basic I feel that my own story lacks this approach, as there is only 1 question and answer which drives the narrative of the story (the standoff).
Wasp. 2003. [Film]. Andrea Arnold. dir. UK: FilmFour